As I'm starting this, to purge some mental pain, I'm already aware that it's going to cost me in physical pain. But I'll take that trade.
Last night, when I was trying to get to sleep, for some reason I found myself dwelling on lost friends. Three friends, in particular, would not leave my mind. I have not spoken to any of them for about a year and a half. I'm not even sure why I never posted about them before now.
These people all joined my guild, in DDO on Cannith server, somewhere around 2 years ago. I only ever knew them by their first/nick names; Lexi, Tex and Wes. We all just started talking and adventuring together. We had SO much fun and so much in common.
As a matter of fact they all had similar levels of damaged/broken as myself. We were able to openly chat about what had befallen us, without fear of judgement. I even talked to some of them IRL. It was really amazing to have friends who really understood, because they were dealing with similar issues.
...
Then one day, they all just vanished. Tex's whole account disappeared from ALL servers. And Lexi and Wes just stopped showing up in game. I tried desperately to reach Lexi IRL, to no avail. I even maintained an Orion Post message, to one of her characters, for months.
[For those who don't know, OP messages bounce back to the sender after 3 weeks if not read.]
...
Ever since and even now, I mourn these people. I mourn as if they are dead, without ANY confirmation of it. That lack of certainty makes it even harder to let go and move on. I think of them often. I only wish I could believe that I'd ever hear from them again.
Just in case any of you are still out there and you happen to see this post, please log back in. I'm sorry to say all long-absent characters had to be removed from the guild. But you can message any member of Welcomeing Darkness and ask the name of the Guild Leader. Message him and he will be able to relay your message to me. And please know that I miss you more than I can express.
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UPDATE Oct. 2020: The Guild name no longer has the extra e in it.
